Today is national Infant and pregnancy loss day :-(

So I knew I needed to do an updated blog but I have been debating on what to write about. So I chose this topic.


Today is national Infant and pregnancy loss day. I knew it was coming up, but I have been dreading this day since September is the month that my daughter was due (Sept. 14th) and then a month and a day later it is Infant/pregnancy loss day. Of course I can not just avoid the day, but I also do not want to mourn all day either. Today also happens to be sweetest day. So in order to not mourn the whole day I have allowed myself to cry the tears I need to cry and light a candle in remembrance of my daughter. I have learned a lot since entering/completing counseling a few months back. It is ok to mourn the loss of my daughter, but it is not ok for it to control my life (which it hasn't). The pain is still fresh in the back of my mind, and I do not think I will ever be "totally over it". When someone suffers a loss that has infertility it's absolute hell. There is always that wonder "will I ever be able to have children". No one can honestly answer that question besides God himself. I know once I get the joy to hold a precious child I created in my arms that life, and the loss of my daughter will become easier, but it's something that I will never forget, and until then the pain is still there. 


I will always be proud to say that I am a mommy of an angel baby. 


Please light a candle in remembrance of all babies born sleeping, lost in utero, or the loss of an infant.